It's going to be a good year...

I am loving all of my classes so far and can't wait to learn more.

I am so excited to move to New York and live with my boyfriend.

I am starting to take bass lessons with my good friend Andy and hopefully I'll be rockin' soon. Speaking of which, I have been hanging out with Andy a lot. I like that kid. Haha, last night he made a good point, "I have no life and my girlfriend lives two hours away... so I'm always down to hang out." To which I responded, "Ha, hey me too." Nice guy. He gets my weird sense of humor just as he has a weird one too. Plus he suggested getting wings at like 11 last night and that alone... rules. I keep laughing at myself for saying, "You know I hate it when people talk in internetz lingo and shit... like when people put "u" instead of "you" and "4" instead of "for"... ya know man, shit like that..." I am a goober.

Can't wait to see what the year has ahead. BEE-YA.

I suck:

Seriously though... I am a mess. I am in New York right now just thinking of all the ways I suck. I got 3 D's... THREE D's... last semester. And a B... not even an A to barely weigh in with the demonic D's. I need to make a huge comeback this coming semester... if I get my loans, that is. The worst part... I have yet to tell my parents and I am just dreading that terrible conversation/argument.

Also, I was starting to have something going great in my life... and then I had to get too drunk, black out, kiss some other dude, and not even remember it. What is wrong with me? I feel like the future of 2009 is completely uncertain right now. It's tearing me up. I want to make things right. I want to drink less. I want to let my best friend know how much I love him and want to be with him.. I want to let him know how happy he makes me. I don't even know if he'll care anymore. This is the worst feeling. Here is to hoping I can get my shit together in '09.

Story of my life:

So it's been a rough day and it's only 11:45 a.m.

I am a procrastinator and that is a bad habit, I get that. rabble rabble.

Anyways... last night and this morning I have been faced with many tests of my skills. Curve balls, if you will. Today I had two major papers (worth 20% of my grade in both classes) due for two seperate classes: a 4-pg min. w/ 4 interviews & 3 sources for Writing for Mass Media and a 5-7 pg. paper for Writing about Film. Oh, might I add I also have a press release due for Writing for Mass Media due at 5:30. I stayed up working on all of these assignments, expecting a good ole' college-style all-nighter. By 8 a.m., my will was dwindling; drowsiness and fatigue were setting in. To add to matters, I started feeling nauseated (thanks Lou) so I laid down.

Next thing you know I wake up and it's 10:22! (forced-pespective p-o-v). Don'tcha know I have class (that I can't miss or I FAIL) at 10:30 all the way the fuck across campus. I wish I could relay the hilarious high-pitched "AHHH!" I made when I saw the time. So, this is basically how things went down after that:

ME: (jumps out of bed, still wearing jeans and a t-shirt)
(frantically runs around bedroom - grabbing all necessary clothes in sight - first bra,
sweater, socks, etc. I saw - I put on!)
ME: (talking to myself) "SOCKS! OK! SHOES! (grabs for sneakers) SHIT, no, no, TOO SLOW. BOOTS! OKAY. UH... NOTEBOOK! PENCIL! KEYS. SHIT."

So then I hop on my bicycle where I ride like a maniac to Dale Hall, running a busy light in the knick of time, waving through cars, people, etc. Somehow... I made it to class by 10:31! Don't ask me how... but it happened. I rule... under pressure (cue David Bowie).

Then spaced out for the rest of the class because I feel zombie-fried. K BYE NOW FOOD AND SLEEP.

NOTE: Next time crunch that tests my skills, remember more layers. My face and legs are frozen. The wind was brutal today.

Seven Simple Rules For a Life In Hiding:

1. Never trust a cop in a rain coat.

2. Beware of enthusiasm and of love. Both are temporary and quick to sway.

3. When asked if you care about the world's problems, look deep into the eyes of he who asks. He will not ask you again.

4. Never give your real name.

5. When asked to look at yourself, never look.

6. Never say or do anything the person in front of you can't understand.

7. Never create anything. It will be misinterpreted. It will chain you and follow you for the rest of your life. It will never change!

Goin' to Acapulco...

This is a brand new entry... my first in 2008.
The year is coming to an end and while some are reflecting of the year, I am just ready to move on and move out. It's hard to remember a lot of the year... a part of me has been feeling like maybe I need to sober up. I am trying to change my life up a little right now and it feels refreshing. For nearly seven months of my life, I was in a bad relationship. Well, when it was good, it was great... and when it was bad, it was terrible. He was a terrible influence on me and I am trying to turn things around. I am moving to New York City next May to hang out with one of my best friends indefinitely. That sounds like a ridiculous plan. The economy is going to shit. I haven't finished school. I don't have too much money yet. All odds are against me, yet there is something driving me more than I thought possible to do this. My connection and ties to Oklahoma is dwindling. While it will always be my home, I don't feel like this place has much else to offer me. It is terrifying to just flee out of the security I have here, but I am excited for it... but nervous nonetheless. I feel like all of my friends are just moving in their separate directions, starting their own lives. Riley is off to Portland. Julie is planning on doing who knows what. Ryan is married for crying out loud. New York is my plan and my future. Adventures await me and not complacency. That's all that I need to know.

A collection of albums.

Honestly:


Top 5 Favorite Albums (sorta of all-time):

















1. The Good Life - Album of the Year

Every song on this album was just completely amazing to me the first time I heard it and it remains the same way every listen. It's still probably one of the most influential albums to me. Tim Kasher is amazing.




















2. Saves The Day - Can't Slow Down

One of their most energetic and raw albums. The emotion and heart in every song blows me away still. I still can't believe they made this album in high school.




















3. Cat Power - Moon Pix

I just recently got way into Cat Power this past year. She has become one of my favorite artists in such a short time. Chan Marshall's talent blows me away. Her songwriting talents and her range of style really stand out in this album.




















4. Elliott Smith - Either/Or

Elliott Smith an exceptional and earnest songwriter in the 90s whose career ended too soon, sadly. I remember the first time I heard this album and I immediatedly fell in love. Each song still has a great meaning to me even now.





















5. The Beatles - The White Album

This album was one of the first albums I seriously got into. I listened to a lot of really crappy music before this and this one just showed me the light. I think this album really showcases more of George Harrison's songwriting abilities and I love that. This album has such a variety of songs. It's one of their best.

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Top 5 Albums that represent a specific time in my life:






1. Saves The Day - Through Being Cool



Saves The Day changed my whole taste in music. This album sums up Jr. High as a whole.




2. Bright Eyes - Letting Off the Happiness


This reminds me of lots of nights of just laying around listening to this during sophomore year... almost daily.



3. Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan


Every time I listen to this album I completely associate it with my first love.


4. Say Anything - ...Is A Real Boy

Reminds me of last summer and a lot of amazing times with Ryan.



5. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds

Completely reminds me of my childhood when I'd dance to Beach Boys records.

the times are changing...

currently: Brian Wilson - "Good Vibrations"

i'm going to graduate in 5 weeks.
i'm going to go to college.
i'm going to live on my own.
i'm going to make my own rules.
i'm going to be somewhere very new.

intense.

things have been changing so rapidly lately. i've changed so much in this past year. i have new friends. i have a new-ish outlook on things. i have (mostly) all new good friends. randilea is amazing. i really couldn't ask for anyone better to be so close to. i trust her more than i thought i could. aaron & i clicked automatically and he's closer to me than other friends i've known for years.

something has happened that's hard for me to deal with though... ryan and i are growing apart,and i think we both know it. ever since the whole "hook-up drama" took place, things haven't been the same. it's strange but i just never want to be around him anymore. i don't like hanging out with him. ironically, it doesn't bother me too much. i know we'll both be going to Norman, but I can just feel us easily going our seperate ways. That's life though. I knew this was going to happen... just not yet. That's the only part that's hard to cope with. He was the best friend I'd ever had and I have been wondering, was it all only because he liked me? I don't like who he has become.

finally, i am shockingly proud of myself for multiple things: for believing in myself, for not caring about others' opinions, for sticking to my convictions. i can't believe that i've basically been single for almost a year. it might be depressing to most, hell, it is to me most of the time. yet, it somehow seems like quite the accomplishment to me. I'm proud of myself for being able to be happy with just myself. I'm proud of myself for not having sex with him. I'm proud of myself for doing what I know I really want. I'm proud of myself for being content with my life.

as the wise sherri burden would say, i'm a complete cliche.